10th, December, 2016

This is going to be a big shift in the way I have run this…

Honestly, its been a challenge for me to want to get on the site and actually post some content. I did have the Kickstarter end successfully. I also managed to kinda pull myself together for things here at the end of this year. Arguably, this has been a far easier year to deal with issues than the last year and far easier that the previous.

That said, I’m kinda killing myself.

Okay, I’m not trying to kill myself. Let’s get that out of the way. What I am talking about, is the fact that I feel like I am the size of a small whale. I’m actually escatlating on the weight gain due to an increase in stress. Most of this is coming from my lack of self control, my inability to sleep like a normal person, and lack of will to force myself forward. I am not cycling (and won’t be able to until late spring.) I am not really pushing myself in terms of working out. I am struggling to eat more than a single meal a day.

Today was a perfect example. I did walk a mile and half into work… That was about my only physical activity today outside of being on my feet. I also only drank a cup of hot cider for breakfast. Munched on some chips, bread, a cookie, drank 4 bottles of water, finally had lunch (chicken parm with a side salad,) also like 4 or 5 cans of diet coke, and finally I get home and just laid in bed. I literally feel like shit inside and out.

Of course, I did finally say fuck it and worked out. I could only really manage 20 minutes of working out. It wasn’t anything terribly impressive. Planked (kinda) for 30 seconds, 1 arm planked (again kinda) for 15 seconds each arm, maybe a handful of yoga poses while being mauled by cat. I also did a few sets of punches like I used to….

All it proved is how close to the edge I am.



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