Mile 20072?

A review of Deadpool, Lucy, and probably Battleship.

So I had a long day in. The weather is still pretty good at the moment, but I needed to take a day and work on something for my Aunt. I have the fun of sorting through the detritus of probably 30 years of junk and who know what else.

I also have a bike I am working on for a friend of my Aunt’s…. During my time where I am not bound to that and I am trapped under kitten, I felt like catching up on some movies. I enjoy sitting down to a few good movies and I recently watched The Hateful Eight. A movie that was incredible, but in need of it’s own review. Though there was a scene in the movie that was hard to put my feelings on. Instead, I watched Battleship, Lucy, and Deadpool.

Frankly, oh my f###### s### balls.

Deadpool

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That would be my quicky review on Deadpool. It was fantastic. I know there has been about a dozen to a few hundred reviews of the movie already. Its been out for a little over 2 weeks and it has manage to be the highest grossing movie rated R. Which is in and of itself impressive. Deadpool is definitely earning it’s R rating. Nudity, sexual activity, violence, blood, gore. It all works to enhance the insanity of the movie.

Now everyone is talking about the rabid commercial success.  Why is it a success? Was it because it was rated R? Was it because we are all a bunch of crazy bastards craving bloody movies that are gritty and grimy?

The simple answer is no.

There may be a handful of reasons. It helps that comic movies have been all the rage for close to half a decade now. It is just expected that there will be good ones, and weaker ones. So far, they have all been relatively run of the mill.

Good guy is trying to be good guy, bad guy comes along, good guy meets girl. Girl gets in trouble, good guy rescues her, and typically the bad guy falls on his own sword.

You never see the good guy get blood on his hands. You never see them owning up to the chaos that they ensued or taking a chance and freeing themselves from the shackle of it. Yes, it would put them on the same level… But there is some reward in seeing somebody seize their chance, even at the expense of another.

I don’t think that is the thing that sells it. It does make a big difference though, seeing that people do die or suffer as a result makes sense. The “we are going to save everyone” is just too much. Frankly, I could see Superman just saying fuck it and not try to stop every burning building. Hell, Batman doesn’t stop to make sure he didn’t just knock a guy so hard he killed them. Which, he could do. One blow in the wrong spot and you could shatter a rib or a solid blow to the temple and the opposite could die.

Deadpool does go out of his way to cause death and mayhem. But it does make the stakes more real. Also, there is a bit where he points out the bad guys minions just work for the bad guy. Why fight for the guy? Honestly, that is one of my favorite gimme. I would say no to it. I would be headed home as fast as I could.

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If anything, it is the fact that we haven’t really had a full comedy version of a super hero movie. We needed the Han Solo character in a stand alone film. By that, I mean a character taking the piss out of the movie the entire time. It really helps sell the movie or the franchise.

It serves more than just comic relief, it also plants a character that we can appreciate and relate to. It is a character or a movie that brings it down to our level. Now, we are okay with these franchises being the way they are, and we kinda have that character in Wolverine.

And if we didn’t, well… We have an example of it. It was the Star Wars movies I through III. There was nobody making fun of the film, they lacked the Han Solo character and it made them tough to watch.

To bring it back in, Deadpool works because that is the role his movie plays in that universe, and the last few films from the Marvel X-Men universe have been good but all together very serious and needed a good kick in the rear that could only be provided by the Merc with a Mouth.

Endnote: Gods, go see this movie. Especially while it is still in theatre.

Lucy

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I know this movie has been out for a while. But this movie definitely is in need of a review. It was… incredible.

That is not quite the right word to use to describe exactly what this movie is. It might sound odd, considering I tried to wind up Deadpool with a quick statement. It is different with Lucy though. The truth is this movie is an art film. It is in some ways a work of art, where imagery meets abstract concepts in the purest and most simple way possible.

This is also the time for this type of film. Interstellar, was a love letter to science that was a dad film combined with an abstract telling of theoretical concepts. The Martian, was a theoretical scenario being shown not told through the work of the narrative and the beauty of what we can do with CGI of another planet. Lucy, was the theoretical concept of what if we could use more of our brain and what happens when we discover that our universe is a personal universe.

I will get back to that part later on. It is a little spoiler there in. If I interrupted the film properly.

The movie stars Scarlet Johansan, who is as beautiful as she is capable of kicking ass. And it works that she would play this type of character. They have her kick ass, they have her cold and feeling less. She feels more dangerous in this movie, even early on where she is weak as far as the plot is concerned, than she did in the Avengers. In fact, I love how they managed to avoid the holes many movies fall into with female leads where they get trapped by becoming the side character in their own movie to a guy.

The film does cut in these strange clips of animals to show reactions and feelings. It was really nice to see them cut in to help translate the emotional levels and feelings in a way different than just showing. It was both showing and telling at the same time, which is a little hard to get used to and they taper off quickly as the plot goes in a certain direction. it was one of the things that made it feel like an art film versus a standard action movie.

There was also like 10 to 20 seconds of animals boning, so it was definitely an art film.

The movie feels raw, gritty, and it starts with the feeling of some of the stranger yet fantastic movies I have seen. It feels like the original Oldboy did (which you should watch.) It had this criminal underworld thing going for it. It was one of the more interesting and intense cold openings I had been given in a movie in some time. It was effective, versus many of those I have seen.

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The action in the film was great. It was expertly scripted and the casting options were everything somebody would desire. Every role felt right. This movie wasn’t people throwing characters in with scripts and expecting to do something. This film was more like a bunch of gears that meshed with ease. It really helped sell part of the plot.

Endnote: Definitely worth a watch. However, keep your brain on for this. You are going to need it.

Speaking of which: Spoiler Ahead.

I know the movie has been out for a year, but this is just something I have to bring up. The movie deals with the ideas of the Anthropic principle. This is something that goes to scrhodingers cat. That nothing is until it is observed. The principle states more or less that the universe is because man views it that way. Often times, it can have a greedier exposition where in: one person’s view of the universe creates that universe.

Its not an easy theory to put out there, and it is a harder theory to deny or justify. This movie approaches it as her gaining “control of matter and energy.” In which the only constant is time. That may have some determinism in which freewill is called into question. But the way it was presented in the film made sense. She gained access to seemingly all time and space. She gained the ability to learn all of what is, was, and will be. Or at least that is what is shown.

That is the other thing. The director managed to really capture so much of this and follow the one thing with film so often messed up. Show, dont tell. So often directors have unneccessary exposition, or they make the plot explicitly stated. The only time I have ever seen that done was with Bakemonogatiri. Where in the entirity of the episode’s plot was told to you in the intro and you were shown different things based on where you looked. This movie managed to just show you simple and easy to understand visuals for incredibly complicated networks and concepts.

It is one of the best things about this film.

Battleship…

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The easiest review… It was terrible. I mean, the plot was dumb. I mean, it is definitely true that hollywood is out of ideas when they have to take board games and turn them into movies. Pixar could probably make an amazing rendition of Life. Everyone would more than likely be crying their eyes out within 15 minutes. That is normally when Pixar hits you with the emotional haymaker being delivered via bullet train. But that is Pixar.

This movie, was haha, just bad. it did nothing to account for the fact that a lot of the American naval fleet tends to be stationed in Hawaii. The Coast Guard, Marines, Army, and Airforce all have operating stations and FOBs within the area. Modern ships are armed with more than just basic cannons and missles. Not to mention most of them operate off of advanced, well shielded electronics. The idea of an EMP disabling just the fire systems just doesnt work. EMP’s take out everything. Everything would shut down and more than likely come back up again entirely, or not at all.

Hell, in order to make the plot relate back into the board games, the alien space craft fired peg missiles that would drill into the ships. Also, they seemingly fired 20 or more at a time. More often than not, only a single one would make contact with the target. Also, the idea of a NAVY commanding officer for the helm/firing decks would be a drunk who is perpetually late and lacked all standard protocol is foolish. He would have been discharged or court marshaled a long time ago. That is just the way the NAVY works.

Anyways, it was a terrible movie. If you want a better movie with space, marines, and a level of camp to it… Watch Starship Troopers. It was a much better movie. Or if you want to see what proper seamanship/naval tactics, you have a few choices. Master and Commander if you want Naval tactics circa 1800s. U571 is a fantastic WWII submarine movie that really helps show how bad of a state most subs were in WWII. Or The Hunt for the Red October is great for watching Sean Connery pulling off the most Scottish Russian accent ever.

All of those are great, but avoid Battleship. And they bothered to do Ouija. I am just concerned if they are going to try another. “On a distance world, 3 warriors must fight to the death. It all comes down to sudden death! Love! Action! Murder! Roshambo!” Or what, “Guys, I dont believe…” “What?” “I think we are in a giant Mousetrap!?” Really, Hollywood. We expect better.

Endnote: Terrible, so bad, it is like an Asylum film directed by Michael Bay. 

Well, there’s my review of a good, and weird, and a why did anyone ever think that this was a good idea. Have a nice one.

eddie martin

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