Mile 20071.5

Cleaning. It sucks

To be fair, it only sucks at the moment because I really let myself go. I’ve been under some stress and not eating well. I’ve gained weight yet again because the weather has been less than supportive of cycling. Last week I ended up sick, and I have had a headache at least once a day the last week or so. I have felt really off. To say the least this has all conspired to put me in a state of mind that has been somewhat toxic.

It has been reflected in the state my place was in.

I spoke with a friend about how tough it can be to move forward with things when everything feels messy. When it takes work to do the work you want to do, it diminishes your will to want to do what you desire. Why would I want to cook if I have to clean before I start cooking? Then I should clean after to make sure Future Me will be able to continue forward. Instead, Past Me is a dick and a slob and Future Me resents him meanwhile presently… I just kind of have been existing.

Most of this started once stress from work came on and it amplified when I lost my job. Even with me filling in and doing some temp work, it is hard to get a new job when I am worried about what might happen if the snow really comes down again. Food is what I want to get into, and that is a little rough because I dont have much of a real kitchen to be able to cook with. It is a s**** excuse, but it was the excuse I used the last week or so.

So, I ended up making a food run today and my first ride. Luckily, it was up to 45 degrees F outside. Which is still cold and the wind was punishing. Yet it felt amazing to be back on the bike. Even with my ankles wanting to scream at me the whole way. I haven’t really pushed either of them the last week. That being said, my left ankle (which I injured a couple of weeks ago in a bike accident) is still sore. My right ankle just hates me due to the cold weather. Metal plates cool down very fast.

Anyways, I finished my ride quickly. The bike still needs a little work and I may just replace the front brake with a new one shortly. It isnt quite loosened to the point I want and I dont feel like trying to recalibrate a spring that nearly put a hole in a wall the first time I took it apart. And I need to fix that damn light ring. I will do that after this.

Post ride, I picked up what I needed at Aldis. Which I still don’t care for shopping there. It feels like I am shopping at the Walmart/Big Lots of food. Food is typically a spot I dont want to buy lower quality products. It can mess one up fast. Yet, I picked up a lot of fruit, a couple of more tools for hopefully eating better/living better and came home.

To my wreck of a room…

I spent a solid 3 hours just cleaning and organizing. I put away all my food in an organized manner. Fruit, veggies, cheese, dry goods, cans… Organization has been something I have been trying to work on and this is the first time in a while where I feel like I am nearly there. Tomorrow, I need to go pick up another set of containers and I should be all set. I want everything together and hopefully matching.

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I was able to take the time and clean out my Aunt’s old tupperware, put away her stuff, and finally feel like I am getting myself set up with the stuff that I want and can use to make this better. It’s strange how refreshing this is, and that I can put my phone in a drawer to charge instead of worrying about stepping on it because it is charging on the floor. Hell, I went like a year and half without it and it was nice. Now, Im barely on social media, the phone, or skype. Im no longer worried if I miss a message. Im not compuslively checking it. I have the ability to set up my phone in a drawer to charge and not have to hunt for it.

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Everything is starting to feel better organized… even if at the moment it all feels a little crazy.

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